Addiction Recovery

Am I Codependent? 4 Signs the Answer Might Be Yes

February 16th, 2009 Filed under: Uncategorized — Addiction Recovery Author

Many people have heard the word codependent.It is often used when people describe traits and characteristics commonly found in the partners or loved ones of addicts.If there is an unhealthy dynamic and one person chooses to stay in the situation and “suffer” the consequences, the personality traits that keep someone in that spot can be called codependent as well.Excessive tolerance and a willingness to neglect one’s own needs and boundaries is often a sign of codependence.Long term, a codependent doesn’t help the addict or abuser find motivation to change, nor is it helpful for the codependent partner to maintain the same behavior patterns.Here are 4 signs you might be codependent in your relationship:

1. You ignore, minimize, or rationalize the awful things your partner does.If you stop to consider the severity of the situation, you might compare your issues with those of others.The trouble with that exercise is that is become a bit like comparing a house fire to an earthquake.In both cases, destruction is occurring – perhaps the earthquake cased less damage than the fire, but it doesn’t mean either event is a desirable one.

2. You excuse your partner’s terrible behavior from others, or try to hide it entirely.You might call in sick to work for your spouse who is hung over from drinking.You might even attempt to fulfill obligations your partner fails to meet.

3. You are certain that you can’t go on without your partner – and the prospect is so overwhelmingly painful that you tolerate almost anything to maintain the relationship.In your mind, it might feel as if something is much better than nothing at all.If you have arguments or issue ultimatums, you are likely to back down or drop the matter entirely rather than risk your partner leaving.

4. You feel guilt and responsibility for your partner’s well being, and feel trapped in the relationship as a result.You worry about what your partner might do to him or herself if you aren’t around – and experience the guilty feelings that go along with thinking you have to be there to save them or it is your fault.It feels more comfortable to be needed than to have a mutually beneficial relationship.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, “Natural Methods To Fight Depression”, click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.