Alcoholism – Collateral Damage and Unforseen Circumstances
July 5th, 2007 Filed under: Uncategorized — Addiction Recovery AuthorIt All Began Innocently Enough. Snag a Beer from Dads’ Stash– He’d never notice… would he? Maybe a little kick of Nyquil here and there. Sharing Joints with my friends. The Seventies were another Place and Time in America. The War in Nam was over, Watergate Framed the Political Debate, and the Commies had their Nukes Pointed Right at US! The Free Love Movement which began in the Sixties Spilled over into the Time of my Awakening. It wasn’t long, though it seemed like forever to us at the time, before my friends and I were actually able to get Served Beer at the very same Lampost Rest/Bar where My Dad and his Friends had Finally got Served a Generation Before. It was more a “Right of Passage” than it was a Party in the Beginning.
We All have Our Burdens to Bear, and I Certainly had a Plate Full! More and More I found Myself Hungry for My Mistress. I had my Favorites like Little King’s Cream Ale, and Miller High Life, but anything would work in a pinch. Wild Irish Rose, MD 20/20, Etc. It really didn’t matter as long as it Soothed my Private Pain! I learned to “Maintain” my Composure under the Affects of Almost Any Buzzed Condition. I could outperform those around me at work even while drinking. I became very adept at Public Relations so I could Build a Level of Trust with my Customers which allowed me to Party pretty much continuously for a Quarter of a Century. Yes me and my Mistress became very close. I Depended on her to get me through whatever life could throw at me. Serving my Mistress made me very happy.
I was so Happy with our Relationship that I became Complacent! Over Time Addicts become so Self Consumed that they Lose Sight of the Priorities which had once Driven them to Strive for Something Better. Relationships with People other than the Enablers are Strained. I am amazed at how Keen my Awareness really is without the Veil of my Mistress. As I look back at the Lost Decade, I remember some of the great times had by All of my Drinking Compadres. I also Now can see many of the Lost Opportunities which my Mistress and I did not recognize, nor Capitalize On. My Judgement you see, had to be Tempered to Serve my Mistress. Priorities shuffled, Judgement Impaired, Addicts trudge through life Striving ONLY to Serve the Mistress.
Today, I am working at Repairing the Collateral Damage my Mistress and I left in Our 25 Year Wake. Married and Divorced three times, twice to the same Woman. I have allowed my Children to be from a Broken Home! I have not Protected them, and it’s gonna be so sad to watch them walk down that path of Emotional Turmoil. I Pray that they don’t Fall in Love with a Mistress.
I am slowly getting my Financial Life in Order. My Mistress wasn’t too concerned with my Credit Score. And, neither was I. This takes a Long Time to Clean Up, and Maintaining ALL of your accounts As Agreed is Sometimes Tricky, however very Rewarding.
I am Remarried, Yes number 4. This time I was Lucky Enough to Marry my Lovely and Gracious wife. She has been my Rock, Always Supporting me even in the Darkest Hours of Cleaning Up. Leaving My Mistress was the Hardest thing I have ever done. You Really need some kind of Support System in Place when YOU Leave Your Mistress. And I Hope that One Day You Will.
