Addiction Recovery

I had been taking Paxil 20mg daily for 6 years. I went to my family doctor feeling overwhelmed with having three young boys, and living in an abusive relationship. Needless to say I was stressed out BIGTIME! I was unable to sleep at night, didn’t have much of an appetite and I was feeling more sad than happy which of course could be attributed to lack of sleep and eating little.

My doctor wrote a prescription for Paxil 20 mg daily tablets. He told me that it would take about 6 weeks before it would take effect. It did take about that long and simply eased into my system. I started to sleep a little better and did feel less stress. Although, eating habits did not change. Through the time I was taking it I was slowly gaining weight and unable to take it off.

After 4 and a half years, I felt it was wearing off before I would take my next dose. Back to the doctor I went, this time he prescribed Paxil CR 25mg which was controlled release. This made it so the medication would not wear off before the next dosage. This worked for me.

After 6 years, my life had totally changed from when I was first prescribed this drug. Paxil helped me through the most difficult times of my life and for that I am thankful. But, one day I decided that I didn’t need it anymore. My life was calm and I said to myself what better time than now. And I asked myself “Do I really want to rely on this for the rest of my life?” The answer was no and the cost of it wasn’t cheap either.

I began doing research on the internet about withdrawal effects. I was scared initially because Paxil is banned in the United States not for its effects while on it but for the withdrawal symptoms when you try to quit. Now, I know why. Just one month ago, I stopped taking the drug. The first two weeks felt like an eternity. I felt like a totally different person. Everyday I said to myself “I don’t know if I can do this.” It was not easy at alll. I found a lot of the same responses on forums on the internet for people in the same situation. They were only a handful that I could find that actually made it through. Most seemed to relapse or went to their doctor for something else.

Perhaps I had it easier than some. I wasn’t working at the time and my partner was there for me every step of the way. Otherwise, it would have been much more difficult. I wasn’t sleeping again and I was having terrible nightmares accompanied by sweats and chills. I was very nervous and jumpy. My heart was racing all the time. I also had dry mouth and some headaches for two weeks straight. After the two weeks, I was so relieved. I wasn’t sure if these withdrawal symptoms were going to fade. They did and I feel fine. I am proud of myself because I come from a family history of addictions, and I now have none.

I hope that people out there that are trying to come off an antidepressant stick with it because it is worth it. I was lucky enough to have supportive people in my life to help me get through it. However, it takes a lot of inner strength as well. I have no desire to go back on it or on anything else. So, for anyone reading this that may be in a similar situation and is contemplating not taking their anti-depressant anymore. You can do it!

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