Addiction Recovery

I think it is especially difficult around the Holidays not to jump in and say but it is Thanksgiving or Christmas or their Birthday. I do not want my child to think I do not love them. It is hard to let go they may die. They are better now. My child did not have the same problems as yours. I abused alcohol when I was young it is my fault. If only I would have been a better parent, if only I could have seen their pain more clearly. They do not mean to hurt me they have a sickness.

I do not intend to offend anyone but I know a Mother who was in her 80’s still making excuses for her son in his 40’s. Is there something wrong with this picture? The hard truth of it a Mothers love can kill her adult children. Did I say kill? Yes, because if you continue to take on their problems or stress they can not and will not get better. No one plans to be an addict and certainly does not start out in life how can I steal from and cheat my family members?

There is all kinds of help for people with addictions now a days and finally I learned how to let go. It is not easy and it is easier to fall back into the same trap once you think the addict is making head way. I decided to take the same money I might be tempted to spend on the addict and give money or items to an organization like the Rockford Rescue Mission. This particular place has really helped people who have hard times to get on the path to recover physically, mentally and spiritually. There are many success stories associated with this Mission and gives me hope for all people.

I have been an enabler since I can remember and being an enabler is not just about addiction’s. I was reared you made your bed, now lay in it. I had to pick myself up from my mistakes. I felt that was too harsh so what did I do the opposite based on how I felt. I wish someone would have helped make my life smoother. The reason I am the person I am today because I owned my mistakes and no one smoothed my path for me. Because, I was so young when I had children I grew up with them. This in itself is another story.

It is hard to finally realize your adult child only wants you around to use you. It is hard to have your Adult child lie to you. It is hard to face the harsh reality. If it was not for you mom I do not know what I would have done or if it was not for you mom I do not think I could have survived. Now, take those same praises and say no to more money, no to the drama and let them have their pain once and for all. That same Adult Child who loves you beyond belief does not want anything to do with you anymore. That same child will then try to drag you down telling you your mistakes you made. One thing I have to say here is we hope our children make better parents then we did. I will also say to all those people who blame their parents for their mistakes. How long have you lived away from home? What have you been doing with your life since you left? You have made choices that have affected your own life. It is your own fault.

Does it hurt? It hurts like hell but you will survive. I finally started looking at my life and my dreams again. Now, I am 50 something and guess what all that time I spent worrying and fretting I have been able to use to approach new dreams for myself.

My Grandmother Goebel would say when a family crisis occurred. They will learn and she seemed so calm and not shaken by her Grandchildren’s choices. I knew my Grandmother loved me unconditionally even when I was a screw up, but she did not help me financially and she never tried to fix my problems. Our lives and our families lives will go where they need to. The bottom line is love your family unconditionally and continue to work on yourself. This is the greatest gift you can give them.

Ruth Bruegger lives in Rockton Illinois with her Husband Hans. Ruth has 4 grown children and eight grandchildren. Ruth has owned her own business for 15 years. She has attended the Eureka Ranch to learn marketing and was on the radio with Doug Hall. Ruth has been written up for Tourism ideas in a book written by the University of Wisconsin. She has her CIAO in Taxes. Ruth wrote political bios, church missions newsletter and the first History of Harlem Township. She was the first woman on the Zoning Board in Rockton IL, also served on the Village Board. She has won many business awards over the years as well as being chosen to receive a Volunteer Award. Ruths passion is checking out new and interesting places and people. Ruth’s latest vision is to bring the Creative Secrets of Rockton Roscoe and South Beloit to you no matter where you live. To learn more about Ruth’s journey go to http://www.creative-secrets-in-rockton-roscoe-south-beloit.com

Useful Links:

You can get dress shirts and casual shirt especially made to suit you. Look smart all the time.